1. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
2. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
3. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
4. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a French officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak French. Simply speaking English with a French accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all French soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
5. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
6. Cars never need fuel
7. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
8. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
9. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
10. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly.